1% News Debuts
15 Jun 2015
Ice Cream Socialists: Why Ben & Jerry Support Bernie Sanders
31 May 2015
Transgender Paul Revere Kicked Out of GOP Summit
20 Apr 2015
The producers of the One Percent News would like to apologize to Donald Trump for omitting two of his supporters from our report on the Republican debate held in Cleveland, OH on Aug. 6, 2015. We did not in any way mean to imply that Trump has no supporters, or, that the eleven Jeb Bush staffers that we did include is a fair representation of “everyone” who attended the debate.
We are releasing this footage willingly, and not because Mr. Trump threatened to never appear on our network again, and not because he threatened Will Rice, Margaret Theismann and other members of our news team.
The truth is, we are starting to come to terms with the fact that, no matter the rest of the 1% wants, the world’s most famous One Percenter might actually be our 2016 nominee. While we would greatly prefer to have a candidate that is less wealthy, and thus more beholden on our campaign donations, we are reserving judgement as to whether or not Mr. Trump would make a good president. Does the risk of a third world war outweigh our personal preference for lower taxes? That is a debate One Percent News will bring to you during the general election.
In the future we hope that our reporting does not offend Donald Trump or his supporters. But we will focus on the narrow interests of the One Percent without fear, and continue to feign objectivity as we do so. Please forgive us, Mr. Trump. And tell us when Will and Margaret can come out of hiding.